You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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