THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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