Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
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