The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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