we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
