That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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