whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Randomize
