he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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