New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
