ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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