my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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