Having a random hookup so left but love u
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
