I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
