You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I've blown a few things in my day
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
