One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
