well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
