Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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