My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just pee around me
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
