she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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