GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
