I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
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He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
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I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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