Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
