So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
