Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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