so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
