I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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