should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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