I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
