how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
How does one acquire holy water?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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