We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
