I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
