THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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