I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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