were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
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My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
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I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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