This girl is more easily done than said...
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Randomize
