I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
