ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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