just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
