i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
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