I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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