i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
