Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
