Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize