But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize