I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
