2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
