Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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