I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
