So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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