You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
