Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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