yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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