I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
