Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Such a big mess for such a small penis
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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