I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
