I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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