legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
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U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
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Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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