Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
