haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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